I Could Use a Joke

How about you?

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Happy Saturday. I hope you’re all having a great weekend. 🙂

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SNL: Air Traffic Control

I don’t watch TV much anymore (and get increasingly upset about paying over $140/month for cable), but one of the very few things I’ll turn the TV on for is Saturday Night Live. 

I used to watch it every Saturday night when I was growing up and loved the old cast: Gilda Radner, John Belushi, Dan Ackroyd, Bill Murray and all the rest. I don’t think the show is anywhere near as good as it used to be, but they still come up with some great stuff.

Enough worth watching, there’s usually at least one great sketch every show. I saw this one a week or so ago and it just cracked me up. I still laugh every time I see it. James McAvoy is fantastic with his Scottish accent and the situation is so goofy.

Actually, it resonates with me since ships also sometimes need to deal with traffic control. Sometimes we have to pass through “traffic separation schemes“, especially where there is a lot of ship traffic. They help keep some order and make it easier for us to follow the ‘Rules of the Road” (COLREGS). 

English is the international language of the sea (as well as the air), and like in the SNL skit sometimes it’s almost impossible to understand what people are trying to say over the radio. I’m sure at least some accidents are caused by mis-communication. It’s hard enough to understand people when you do speak the same language. 

Share Your World- May 2019

I haven’t been keeping up with blogging as much as I’d like lately. Part of the reason is I got some work last week and had very little internet access. The other reason is that it takes so much time to do a post justice (especially since they came out with the new WordPress style) and I just haven’t been able to get motivated.

I’ve been home for a few days now. My last job was cut from 3 weeks down to just one week. I’ve been able to rest up and now have the time to check into the blogging world again. First up in my reader was this post from Melanie and her sparksfromacombustiblemind blog.

Is it better to suspect something (bad or hurtful) and not know or to have your worst fears confirmed by sure knowledge? I would rather know for sure. I figure that way I can at least try to do something about the situation. Then again, there are so many things I just can’t do anything about. All the things going on in this country (and the world) make me sick! If I think about it, it makes me miserable. Sad, frustrated, angry, depressed, mean and just miserable. Sometimes I think it would be better to live in ignorance. I’m sure I would be much happier to not know all the things I do know. 😦

What makes you laugh aloud? Crack up? Laugh until your sides split? When was the last time you had a great big belly laugh? Watching a funny movie, like something from the 3 Stooges or the Marx Brothers or Mel Brooks.

Here’s a screen shot of what gave me the last big belly laugh…

“Boat hack #117 – Form two Little Debbie brownies into a shit shape. Wipe toilet paper across it so the crime scene looks legit. Strategically place in head and sit back and watch your crew blame each other and argue over who cleans it up. Film and post if possible”

I saw that yesterday in a Facebook page I follow- Offshore Supply Boats & Crew Boats. Maybe you have to have some experience working offshore in the Gulf of Mexico to get it, but I cracked up laughing. 🙂

Maybe I’m just weird, and still have a juvenile sense of humor, but I really enjoy a good shit-fart-sex joke. The more stupid and disgusting, the better. 😉

Do you suppose Noah had woodpeckers in the ark? If he did, where did he keep them? Apologies to the Darwinians in the crowd…this is merely for fun, okay? Great question! I am a “Darwinist”, but have thought about stuff like this many times. One of the reasons I’m a “Darwinist” and not a follower of the Bible. If that story is true, he must’ve had some woodpeckers in there- all kinds of woodpeckers. Some of those guys can really do a lot of damage. I imagine they would’ve put a real hurtin’ on that old ark by the time the floods settled down. Maybe Noah fashioned a special metal lined cabin for them all?

Why is “Charlie” short for “Charles when they are the same number of letters? Another good question! Why is Billie short for Bill (or William)?

What happened in your world this past week that made you feel thankful, joyful or grateful? I am so thankful I got even that short week’s worth of work! It gives me at least a couple of weeks breathing time before I start really worrying about paying the bills again!

Sunday Funny

Had a good laugh over this one. I do love to wear stupid t-shirts myself. 😉

SNL- Dysfunctional Thanksgiving

Yeah, I know it’s a little late. Thanksgiving is over already, but I was looking at youtube tonight to get some info about teaching in Ukraine. I watched the weekly TEFL webinar and they got me curious about how it is over there and they recommended I watch this youtube video. These SNL videos were posted all along the side of the page.

I hope your holidays don’t go like this, but mine were fairly similar when I was growing up. Anyone today would say I had a very dysfunctional family life when I was a kid. I’m glad now I have good friends with ‘normal’ families I can hang out with. 🙂

Thanksgiving Funnies

I hope everyone is having a happy Thanksgiving. I’m already home from my friends house, where I stuffed myself with a delicious dinner. 🙂

The kids stepped up and made the stuffing, gravy, banana pudding and even mani-mahi (first time I’ve seen that done for Thanksgiving). We also had mashed potatoes, broccoli rice casserole, ham, turkey, hot rolls and roasted vegetables. That was all before the desserts: Sue’s fabulous apple cinnamon cheesecake, pumpkin pie, pecan pie and pumpkin nut bread (with chocolate chips).

I got home and forced myself to take my walk before I fell asleep. I’m trying not to take another nap! I don’t want to get my sleep schedule all twisted again. I’m trying to get back to normal- up in the daytime so I can get things done.

I want to spend this weekend working on a few projects I’ve been putting off (just too tired to get to them). I got a few plants on sale last week. They’re mostly still alive so I need to get them in the ground! I want to finish up the last chapter of the book I’ve been working on. I need to choose a few good photos for the Houston Maritime Museum, I’m hoping they’ll let me place a few there and maybe someone will buy a couple. 🙂

Here are a few more cute cartoons I found online for Thanksgiving. Enjoy…

Monday Funny

😉

SNL: Vincent Price’s Halloween Special

More fun for Halloween!

Do you remember Vincent Price? I do. He was a favorite of mine in those old Saturday morning Creature Features and assorted horror movies.

I can’t say I remember Gloria Swanson. She was before my time and I never have seen Sunset Boulevard. I’m not up on James Mason either, tho I do remember seeing him in quite a few films. Seems kindof out of character from what I remember, but maybe I’m thinking of the wrong guy.

I love how Vincent (Bill Hader) tries to keep the show ‘PG’, safe for the kids. Liberace gets in a few good ones too. It’s hilarious.

Two More Days til Halloween!

Halloween is one of my favorite holidays (the other is St Patricks Day). I love all the costumes, parties, and candy! I don’t bother to decorate my house, it looks like it’s a Halloween House year round anyway, but I do buy some extra candy now for the trick or treaters who might come by. I’m too paranoid to go out to any of the parties anymore. 😦

I thought this video was kind of cute. I do like to read horror stories and I get a kick out of those campy old movies with the zombies and werewolves. I’ve seen a couple of the Saw movies, a few of the Elm Street movies, a bunch of zombie movies too.  I remember Michael Jackson and the Thriller video when it first came out. I loved his dancing. Sad that he died so young.

Poor Freddie, his jokes weren’t going over too well. The werewolf has his own take. He’s cute. 😉

Happy Talk Like A Pirate Day!

Sadly, I forgot all about this until this afternoon. Usually I get reminders in my email from the people who started the whole thing. For some reason this year I didn’t get any notice.

Anyway. I hope my crew of scurvy dogs will grab a pot of grog and have some fun with this. 🙂

As Chumbucket reminds us…

This is the day to let your inner pirate out to play. Swagger, growl and let the world see the buccaneer inside.

Have a peek at a few videos (hopefully you can get them to show up- I can’t do videos from out here).

The Five As – a quick and dirty Pirate Talk Lesson

Cap’n Slappy’s Random Phrases

Dress Like a Pirate (On the Cheap)

And, Wooing Wenches, Ol’ Chumbucket and Mad Sally give a lesson in love.

 

For Penny: SNL Trump Dog

I cracked up the first time I saw this on Saturday Night Live. I mentioned it in some comments to my friend Penny (check out her great blog, where she writes about traveling the world with her dog). I thought some of the rest of you might get a laugh out of it too. Enjoy…

SNL: Trump on Comey

Saturday Night Live is one of the very few shows I’ll turn on the TV to watch. It’s not as good as it was a couple of decades ago, but it’s still pretty good. Sometimes they’ll still crack me up laughing.

I’m not a big fan of Trump, but I liked Hillary and Bernie even less. I preferred Gary Johnson (the Libertarian Party candidate) and regardless of his brain fart re: Aleppo, I still think he would have been worlds better as President than any of the other candidates. Too bad he never had a chance to get into the debates to show the rest of the voters that they DID have a real choice.

In this skit President Donald Trump (Alec Baldwin) discusses firing FBI director James Comey in an interview with Lester Holt (Michael Che). I love how the SNL cast has been doing politics lately. Alec Baldwin really has Trump down pat.

I try not to take politics too seriously. In reality, it’s too just depressing to deal with. I really have to struggle to ignore it or by stress levels go through the roof.

Stronger

I’ve spent the last week, plus so far this week, getting by on less than 4 hours of sleep per night. I was in the “Train the Trainer” course last week and then taught Basic Fire Fighting this week. It’s been killing me! I spent most of the weekend catching up on sleep. Not much time to spend on blogging or anything else.

Tomorrow I have the day off and will try to catch up on sleeping again since I am leaving early Thursday morning for the TBEX in Huntsville, AL. I doubt I will get much sleep while I’m there either.

I’m looking forward to finding ways to improve my blog, meeting interesting people, and exploring the area around Huntsville. Are any of you going to be there? Anybody know of ‘don’t miss’ things to do/see in Huntsville?

Thought for the Day

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More Shud

This past Saturday Night Live was the best I’ve seen in quite a while. SNL is actually one of the very few shows I’ll turn on the TV to watch, but it’s been disappointing lately.

This week it was really pretty funny. I liked the opener (about Trump and an alien invasion), the Olive Garden commercial was pretty good, and the mermaid sketch featuring Kate McKinnon as ‘Shud’ (who is part blobfish) and Scarlett Johansson as her best friend the anglerfish was hilarious.

I hope they keep going with this skit. Maybe they can even add Leslie Jones in there somewhere. I think she might add even more to it. 🙂

Sund’y Funny

Yeah, I do have a sick sense of humor. 😉

Just Jot It Jan: 3 Warning

When I saw the prompt for today’s Just Jot It January challenge (warning), I immediately thought of this photo. I took it once on vacation in Thailand. I was going on a tour of Phang Nga Bay. We’d be riding one of the local ‘long-tail boats’. I was really looking forward to seeing the limestone caves, the village of the ‘water gypsies’, and ‘James Bond Island’.

I did a double take when I saw this sign as we were loading the boats.

What are ‘jacket lifts’? 😉

Are they warning you not to forget your Bacardi rum to go along with your ‘jacket lift? Or maybe you’ll need your rum after you finish your ‘jacket lift’? 🙂

I can’t read Thai, but hopefully it’s more clear in that language than it is in English. 😉

I’m sure they meant ‘life jackets’. I just couldn’t help but wonder how all the people who’s first language wasn’t English (or Thai) would interpret that warning sign. 😉

Pirates Christmas

Getting into the Christmas spirit around here. It’s Christmas Eve already- wow! Here’s a fun little video by Tom Mason & the Blue Buccaneers. It’s another Song of the Sea too. 😉

Yo Ho Ho (Pirates Christmas)

‘Twas the night before Christmas

And out on the sea…
Continue reading

A Few Frosty’s

I’m trying to get into the spirt of things around here. With the temperatures still up there where I’m turning on the air-conditioner most days, it’s hard to do. I do remember back when I was a little kid, staying at my grandmothers house in New York.

There would be so much snow and we’d be snowed in. Couldn’t go out for days. I loved all that as a kid. Sledding, snowball fights, making snowmen, etc. I still love to see the fresh snow and the cool temperatures, even tho I hardly ever get to see it here in Texas.

I was thinking about some of that stuff tonight. I just happened to come upon these…

 

Songs of the Sea: Pirate Chantey

In honor of Pirates Weekend at the Texas Renaissance Fair, I’m re-posting this little ditty from last year.

Here’s another little sea chantey to add to your musical collection. It’s done by Key & Peele, 2 funny guys who used to be on MADtv (which I loved). I really used to love MAD magazine when I was a kid, but the ones they’re coming out with now are nowhere near as funny as they used to be (and no, it’s not just because I’m getting older!).

This sketch somehow manages to be both a little risque’ and PC at the same time. 😉

Pirate Chantey– Key & Peele

“Thar once was a lass so fine,
She was drunk on Barleywine,
I’d been (out) to sea for a month or three,
I knew I could make her mine.
But the lass was past consent,
So it was off with her we went,
And we threw her in bed and we rested her head,
And we left cuz that’s what Gentlemen do…

A woman has a right to a drink or two,
Without worryin’ about what you will do!
We say Yo-HO but we don’t say ‘ho,’ 
Cuz ‘ho’ is disrespectful, yo.

Thar once was a girl from Leeds,
Who I heard was good on her knees,
So I docked my ship for an overnight trip,
To take care of all of my needs.
She was fine as the tales did tell,
And my mast began to swell,
So I laid her down and I raised her gown,
And performed cunnilingus for an hour or so.

Always take care of yer lady fair,
Cuz they deserve as much attention down there!
We say Yo-HO but we don’t say ‘ho,’
Cuz ‘ho’ is disrespectful, yo.

I once had a woman so fair,
Whose whom contained my heir,
With a son by my side, the seas we’d ride,
The child she would bear.
But my woman she was no fool,
She was working her way through school,
So I did support when she chose to abort,
Because it’s her body and therefor her choice.

No we don’t say ‘booty’ ‘less we talkin’ ’bout gold,
and we don’t look at chests ‘less they’s treasure-holds!
With a hat and a feather and a cutlass on our hip,
We don’t say ‘she’ when we’re talking ’bout a ship!
We don’t say ‘bitch’ and we don’t say ‘whore,’
Cuz that language leads to things like body dysmorphia.

Thar was a lady with a golden eye,
And the doctor said she would die,
So she emptied her purse to lift the curse,
And prayed to stay alive.
She awoke the very next day,
And in her grave she lay,
But the scariest part of the story from the start,
Is I bet you assumed the doctor was a man.

Women are doctors too,
And for a fraction of the doubloons!
We say Yo-HO but we don’t say ‘ho,’
Cuz ‘ho’ is disrespectful, yo.

Thar was a slut with tits to here, and an ass that- (gunshot. he is dead and that is good.)

Cuz it’s Yo-HO but we don’t say ‘ho,’
Cuz ‘ho’ is disrespectful, yo.”